HOW DOES ONLINE MEDIATION WORK – AND DOES IT WORK?

ONLINE MEDIATION

I think it is fair to say that the Family Mediation Council have not embraced online mediation and see that face to face mediation is the best way to resolve disputes on parenting and finances.

When you are in a room together you get a better feel for the chemistry and atmosphere taking place. But you can also engage more in tit-for-tat arguments and overtalking each other.

Mediate UK have been holding online mediation appointments since 2016 and we have found a formula that works well – 90% of our clients go on to reach an agreement through joint mediation. It helps make us the No. 1 rated family mediation service in the UK.

HOW DOES ONLINE MEDIATION WORK?

We arrange an initial session with just you and your mediator first. This allows you to explain your situation, what you would like to happen and address any concerns you may have. These initial sessions can be done via Zoom or WhatsApp Video.

If they are not already engaged in the process, we can then formally invite the other party to mediation for their initial session.

Remember – in most cases this initial session, also called a MIAM, is the minimum legal requirement before you can submit an application to court.

JOINT MEDIATION

We hold these session via Zoom. You will be sent an invite and can just click on the link to enter the meeting. We ensure all our rooms are secure and the mediator will be trained on running the zoom meeting. Screens can be shared and financial details swapped all within the meeting – you can even have a break-out room if you need one.

TOP TIPS FOR ONLINE MEDIATION

• Try to ensure you have a quiet room to yourself and put a do not disturb on that room and the front door.
• If you are still living together, make sure you are in separate rooms for the meeting. It doesn’t work if you are in the same room together.
• Ensure any children are looked after and know not to disturb you during the meeting
• Have any financial information you need to share up on your computer or be able to email it.
• Remember you can use Zoom on a laptop, tablet or mobile phone.

DOES IT WORK?

The short answer is yes!

Meetings tend to progress further as it is only possible for one person to talk at a time. The mediator will control the meeting, ensuring everything is covered and can even mute one party if they need to.

Meetings can be set up quicker than face to face meetings, most people need fewer meetings and remember anything agreed can be made legally binding through one of our fixed fee packages.

WHAT IF WE CANNOT AGREE?

You can still apply to court and by having your initial meeting with the mediator we can sign and release the court form for your case.

The courts are still operating and are now holding remote hearings – so if you go to court you will usually be reliant on using Skype. So you might as well try mediation first – it could just save you a lot of time, stress and money. See here for our blog on a MIAM and it helps get you started on the right footing. 

To find out more, call us on 0330 999 0959, email us at admin@mediateuk.co.uk or why not book in a free 15-minute appointment with one of our divorce and separation experts?

WHAT CAN WE DO IF WE HAVE A PARENTING DISPUTE DURING THE COVID-19 OUTBREAK?

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES

I made the decision this week to stop reading the negative press reports, Twitter accounts and Facebook posts and instead concentrate on the positives that have arisen from the Coronavirus pandemic.

I love the fact that more than three quarters of a million people volunteered to help the NHS; that people are applauding our key workers and there are numerous cases of humanity showing itself at its very best.

MEDIATE UK

Mediate UK decided to contribute in a small way – we’re donating £20 to the Trussell Trust for every new mediation appointment booked in during the crisis. We have donated £240 to date and hope to reach £2,000 by the end of this. Each donation goes to fund desperately short Food Banks at this time of urgency.

GOODWILL 

If ever there was a time to act reasonably, in the greater good and considerately to others it is now, and this is of no less importance when dealing with disputes within your own family. I recently encountered a divorcee who had allowed her ex-husband to move back in to her house as he was a key worker and was living with his vulnerable parents. They both had new partners too!

Or the dad who was self-isolating with the children as he had symptoms of Covid-19 so he arranged for daily games with their mum on WhatsApp, Tic-Tok videos of the children dancing and ensured mum could read to the children via Facetime when they went to bed each night.

WORKING TOGETHER

Drawing on ten years’ experience of dealing with families in disputes, and my own personal circumstances, I can assure you that the impact of seeing both mum and dad working together to tackle an issue has a far greater impact on the children when you are separated than when you are together. If you were previously unable to agree on matters, concede fairly or negotiate amicably on matters surrounding your children, now is the time to change that. The impact on the children, the wider family and your own well-being will be multiplied considerably at this time.

FAMILY MEDIATION

If you are struggling to agree on any matter at this time, whether parenting, financial or property, then mediation can really help. We have already helped many couples using Zoom and come to agreements on matters such as:

• Should I allow my ex to see the children if he is now living with a key worker?
• I am high risk and I need to isolate during this time, should the children still see the other parent?
• I don’t trust my ex-partner to keep to the safety advice given by Government. I want to keep them safe with me at this time
• My ex is a key worker so wants the children to still go to school. I can look after them instead as I think they would be safer with me. What can I do?

If you need help completing a C100 Form to sort out a child dispute, or Form A for financial issues, read this guide to make sure you know how the law works with mediation. 

CONCLUSION

If you are struggling with a dispute, try one last time to reach out. Compromise where you can, take a ‘lose the battle to win the war’ approach and polish up your halo. Even if the other party rejects the approach or is still unreasonable, you will know that during the Covid-19 outbreak you did all you could to do the right thing for yourself, your children and your wider family.

Mediate UK are well poised to help you reach agreement on a multitude of parenting issues, and circumstances unique to your family situation. Read more about the process here. 

Call us on 0330 999 0959 or email us admin@mediateuk.co.uk – we are ready to step in and help at this time.OUTBREAK?