What to Include in a Parenting Plan After Separation

What separated parents need to include in a Parenting Plan to reduce conflict and support their children.

When we first separated, we thought agreeing arrangements for the children would be simple. We both loved them. We both wanted the best for them.

But within days, small disagreements became bigger ones. Who would have them on Christmas Day? What about birthdays? Could one of us move closer to work?

If you are asking what to include in a Parenting Plan after separation, you are in the right place. We learned the hard way that good intentions are not enough. You need structure. You need clarity. And you need to think about the details before they become disputes.

This article shares our story, and explains what a strong Parenting Plan and Child Arrangement should cover under the law in England and Wales.

Why a Parenting Plan Matters

When parents separate, the law in England and Wales focuses on the child’s welfare. Under section 1 of the Children Act 1989, the child’s welfare is the court’s number one consideration.

But most families do not want a judge making decisions for them.

A Parenting Plan is a written agreement between parents that sets out how you will raise your children after separation. It is not legally binding on its own, but it can be used as evidence of agreed intentions and can later be reflected in a court order if needed.

When we felt stuck and unsure what we had overlooked, it helped to step back and look at a structured checklist. Reading through these things to include when agreeing a parenting plan made us realise how many practical details we had not yet discussed, from holidays to communication rules. Sometimes seeing everything laid out clearly can turn a difficult conversation into a more productive one.

Our Story: Where We Went Wrong

At first, we only discussed where the children would sleep each week. We didn’t talk about holidays. We didn’t talk about school trips. We didn’t talk about what would happen if one of us started a new relationship.

Within three months, we were arguing again.

It was only when we sat down in mediation that we realised a Parenting Plan needs to go much deeper than a weekly rota.

What to Include in a Parenting Plan

Below is what we eventually agreed, and what most comprehensive Child Arrangement agreements should cover.

1. Weekly Living Arrangements

Start with the basics:

• Where the children live during the week

• Collection and drop-off times

• Who is responsible for transport

• What happens if someone is late

Be specific. “After school” sounds clear until school finishes early one day.

2. School Holidays

School holidays cause tension.

Discuss:

• Half terms

• Summer holidays

• Easter

• Christmas

• Bank holidays

Will you split them equally? Alternate years? Divide the summer into two blocks?

We alternated Christmas Day each year. It felt difficult at first. But clarity reduced arguments.

3. Special Occasions

Don’t forget:

• Birthdays (children’s and parent’s)

• Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

• Religious celebrations

• Cultural events

These days carry emotional weight. Decide in advance.

4. Communication Between Parents

How will you communicate?

• Email?

• Parenting app?

• Text only for emergencies?

We agreed not to discuss disagreements in front of the children. It sounds obvious. In reality, it takes effort.

5. Communication with the Children

When the children are with one parent:

• Can the other parent call?

• At what time?

• How often?

We agreed on short evening calls. This reassured everyone.

6. Education Decisions

Major decisions should be discussed jointly where possible, particularly if both parents have parental responsibility.

Include:

• Choice of school

• Parents’ evenings

• School trips abroad

• Extra tuition

Relocation disputes can become really complex if parents cannot agree. A clear Parenting Plan reduces the risk of conflict later.

7. Health and Medical Matters

Agree how you will handle:

• GP and dentist registrations

• Emergency treatment

• Ongoing medical conditions

• Vaccinations

Keep each other informed.

8. Financial Responsibilities for Children

While child maintenance can be arranged separately (through the Child Maintenance Service), your Parenting Plan can record:

• Who pays for school uniforms

• Clubs and activities

• School trips

• Mobile phones

Clarity avoids resentment.

9. Changes to the Plan

Children grow. Circumstances change.

Include:

• A review date (for example, every 12 months)

• A commitment to return to mediation before court

Under the Family Procedure Rules, parties are expected to consider non-court dispute resolution before applying to court. Mediation can help resolve changes without escalating matters.

10. Moving Home or Relocation

If one parent may move:

• How much notice will be given?

• What distance would trigger a review?

Relocation cases can become complex and emotionally charged. Addressing expectations early can help.

When a Parenting Plan Isn’t Enough

Sometimes parents cannot agree.

If agreement is not possible, one parent can apply for a Child Arrangements Order under the Children Act 1989.

But court can be stressful, expensive, and time-consuming. The process can take months.

Mediation offers a space to discuss concerns safely and constructively. It is voluntary, confidential (with legal exceptions), and focused on the children.

Practical Tips We Learned

• Write everything down.

• Be specific.

• Keep language child-focused.

• Avoid using the plan to revisit relationship arguments.

• Think long term, not just about the next few months.

Most importantly, remember that children benefit from stability and from seeing their parents cooperate.

Where to Start

Starting a Parenting Plan can feel overwhelming, especially if conversations are tense. A helpful first step is to understand your options and what other parents commonly agree. Reading a practical guide to child arrangements can give you a clearer picture of how arrangements work in England and Wales, and what courts consider if agreement isn’t reached.

Once you understand the framework, begin by writing down the key areas that matter most to your children, their weekly routine, school commitments, holidays, and how they stay connected with both parents. Keep the focus on stability and long-term wellbeing rather than short-term frustrations.

If discussions feel stuck, having a structured conversation with a neutral third party can help you move forward and turn ideas into a workable agreement.

Final Thought

We thought love for our children would be enough to make separation simple. It wasn’t.

What helped was structure, honest discussion, and putting the children first.

A clear Parenting Plan does not remove all disagreement. But it can give your children stability, and give you both a foundation to co-parent with confidence.

The C100 Form Explained Through My Own Court Application Journey

 What the C100 Form really involves, explained simply for parents considering court.

Completing the C100 Form

When I first heard I needed to complete a C100 Form, I felt overwhelmed.

I wasn’t trying to start a legal battle. I simply wanted clarity about arrangements for my child. But the moment court was mentioned, everything felt formal, serious and slightly intimidating.

If you are here because you are considering submitting a Form C100, you are in the right place. In this article, I will walk you through the form section by section, sharing what I learned along the way, and where mediation could have helped.

First Things First: What Is a C100 Form?

The C100 Form is the application you submit to the Family Court in England and Wales when you are asking a judge to make a decision about child arrangements.

That might include:

• Where a child lives

• When a child spends time with each parent

• Specific issues (such as schooling or medical decisions)

• Prohibited steps (preventing certain actions)

Before I even started filling it in, I had to understand one key point: in most cases, you must attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before applying to court.

Section 1: Applicant and Respondent Details

The first part of the Form C100 asks for:

• My details (the applicant)

• The other parent’s details (the respondent)

• Information about legal representation

It sounds simple. But accuracy matters. Incorrect addresses can delay proceedings.

I remember double checking everything. Court paperwork is not something you want returned because of a spelling mistake.

Section 2: Details About the Children

This section asks for:

• The child’s full name

• Date of birth

• Gender

• Current living arrangements

It felt strange reducing my child’s life to a few boxes. But this section helps the court understand the basics quickly.

The court’s priority is the child’s welfare. This principle was established in Re C (A Minor) (Residence Order: Shared Residence Order), where the court reinforced that decisions must focus on the child’s best interests.

Section 3: What Order Are You Asking For?

This is where the C100 Form becomes very specific.

The court is asking you to clearly explain what you want it to decide. That might be:

• A Child Arrangements Order (for example, where your child lives or how time is shared)

• A Specific Issue Order (such as schooling or medical treatment)

• A Prohibited Steps Order (to prevent a particular action being taken)

When I reached this section, I realised how important clarity is. The court cannot guess what outcome you are hoping for. You need to set it out in simple, direct terms.

It is also worth checking whether you are legally entitled to make the application in the first place. You can read more about who can apply for a C100 Form before submitting your paperwork.

Completing this section forces you to think carefully. Are you asking the court to decide every detail? Or just one specific issue? The more focused your application, the easier it is for the court to understand what is being requested.

Section 4: MIAM Attendance

This was a key moment in my journey.

The form requires confirmation that you have attended a MIAM unless you qualify for an exemption (for example, domestic abuse or urgency).

A MIAM is not mediation itself. It is an information and assessment meeting to explore whether mediation is suitable.

Under the Children and Families Act, attending a MIAM is generally required before issuing a C100 Form.

I had not realised how structured this requirement was. The mediator signs the MIAM section within the form to confirm attendance or exemption.

At this point, I genuinely paused. Was court my only option?

Section 5: Allegations of Harm (If Applicable)

This section asks whether there has been:

• Domestic abuse

• Emotional harm

• Physical harm

• Risk to the child

If you tick “yes”, you must complete additional details.

This is one of the most sensitive parts of the Form C100. It is important to be factual and clear. Avoid emotional language. The court needs evidence based concerns.

If safeguarding is raised, the court may order a CAFCASS report before the first hearing.

Section 6: Why Court? Have You Tried to Resolve This?

This section felt almost reflective.

The court asks what steps have already been taken to resolve matters. Mediation? Direct discussions? Solicitors’ letters?

When I reached this part of the C100 Form, I had to be honest about what we had actually tried. Had we really exhausted every option? Or had communication simply broken down?

It was during this stage that I came across Mediate UK while researching alternatives online. I had been looking for information about the MIAM requirement and practical ways to resolve arrangements without going through a full court process. That is when I realised mediation was not just a formality, it was a genuine opportunity to reach an agreement.

This section of the form encourages you to show the court that you have made reasonable efforts to resolve the dispute. Judges want to see that court is not being used as a first step, but as a last resort.

For many parents, mediation provides a structured environment to have difficult conversations safely and constructively. And for me, learning about it at this stage made me pause and reconsider whether a court order was truly necessary.

What Happens After You Submit the C100 Form?

Here’s what I learned:

1. The court issues the application.

2. CAFCASS carries out safeguarding checks.

3. You attend a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA).

4. The judge explores whether agreement is possible.

If agreement is not reached, the case may move towards further hearings or even a final hearing.

It can take months. Sometimes longer.

Court is structured and formal. For some families, it is necessary. But it is rarely quick.

What I Wish I Had Known Before Filing a Form C100

Looking back, I wish I had understood:

• Court should usually be a last step, not the first.

• Mediation is faster and more cost-effective.

• Agreements reached in mediation can still be formalised.

• The language you use in the application matters.

The process is not designed to punish parents. It is designed to focus on children.

But it can still feel stressful.

Practical Tips If You Are Completing a C100 Form

• Take your time.

• Be clear and factual.

• Gather relevant documents before starting.

• Attend a MIAM even - if you think mediation will not work.

• Seek legal advice if unsure.

Most importantly, ask yourself whether direct discussion, with professional support, could resolve matters before court becomes involved.

Final Thought

Completing a C100 Form can feel like a significant step. It signals that informal discussions may not have worked and that you are asking the court to step in. That can feel daunting.

Before submitting your application, it can help to fully understand what the form involves and what the court process may look like afterwards. Reading a detailed guide to completing a C100 form can clarify what each section means and what information you will need.

Taking time to prepare properly can make the process feel more manageable. And whatever stage you are at, focusing on practical, child-centred solutions will always place you in the strongest position moving forward.

How Family Mediation Helped Us Talk When Everything Else Failed

 What happens when separating parents can’t talk and how mediation can help.

We weren’t short of words.
We were just saying all the wrong ones.

By the time we reached the point of considering family mediation, we had tried everything else. Long emails sent late at night. Heated conversations that went nowhere. Solicitors letters that made things worse. Silence that felt even louder.

This is a composite story, based on real mediation experiences, with details changed. If you’re reading this while stuck in conflict, there’s a good chance parts of it will feel familiar.

When Communication Breaks Down Completely

Our separation wasn’t sudden. It had been building for years. What surprised us was how quickly communication collapsed once we were no longer a couple.

Every discussion turned into an argument.
Every decision felt like a battle.

The hardest part was our children. We both cared deeply about them, yet couldn’t agree on routines, handovers, school holidays, or even how to talk to them about what was happening.

Friends told us to “just be reasonable”.
Family told us to “put the children first”.

We wanted to. We just didn’t know how anymore.

The Point Where Everything Felt Stuck

We reached a stalemate.

No progress on child arrangements.
No agreement on finances.
No trust left in conversations between us.

Court started to feel like the only option, even though neither of us wanted it. The idea of a judge deciding things for our family felt uncomfortable, but so did carrying on like this.

That’s when family mediation was suggested.

At first, we were sceptical.

What Is Family Mediation, Really?

Before attending, we didn’t fully understand what mediation involved. We imagined being forced into a room together and told to “sort it out”.

That isn’t how it works.

Family mediation is a voluntary process where an independent, trained mediator helps people talk through issues following separation. The mediator doesn’t take sides or make decisions. Their role is to manage the conversation so it stays productive and focused on solutions.

If you’re new to the idea this blog on Ultimate Guide to Family Mediation explains the process in clear, practical terms.

Starting With a MIAM

The first step was a MIAM (Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting).

A MIAM is a private meeting with a mediator. It’s a chance to explain what’s been happening, ask questions, and see whether mediation might be suitable. It’s also usually required before applying to the family court, unless an exemption applies.

We attended separately. That mattered more than we expected.

For the first time in months, we were able to explain our concerns without interruption or defensiveness. The mediator listened. Asked calm, practical questions. And didn’t judge.

The First Joint Session: Talking Without Fighting

We didn’t sit opposite each other at first.

Our first joint session took place online, which meant we could be in separate spaces, in the comfort of our own homes. That alone helped lower the temperature.

We were still “together” in the discussion, but with enough distance to feel safe and steady.

What changed things wasn’t agreement overnight.
It was structure.

The mediator set clear boundaries.
One person spoke at a time.
Children were kept at the centre of the discussion.

Instead of revisiting old arguments, we focused on specific decisions that needed to be made.

Slowly, the shouting stopped.
Then the defensiveness eased.
Eventually, real conversations started.

Why Mediation Can Work When Other Options Don’t

Looking back, mediation worked for us because:

• We felt heard without being challenged or blamed

• The process slowed everything down

• Discussions were future-focused, not about “winning”

• Decisions were ours, not imposed

This approach is also encouraged by the courts as they recognised the value of alternative dispute resolution. They want people to try to resolve disputes sensibly where possible. Refusing to consider it without good reason can have consequences. 

Focusing on the Children Changed Everything

Once discussions centred on the children, something shifted.

Instead of “my time” and “your time”, we talked about routines that worked for them. School weeks. Holidays. Communication. How to handle birthdays and Christmas.

We created a Parenting Plan through mediation. It wasn’t legally binding, but it was detailed, practical, and written in our own words.

More importantly, it reduced ongoing conflict.

What About Finances?

Finances were harder. Emotions run deep when money and property are involved.

Mediation didn’t remove those feelings, but it helped us work through disclosure and options calmly. We were encouraged to take legal advice alongside mediation, which helped us understand what was realistic without turning the process into a fight.

Once agreements were reached, we were able to move towards making them legally binding through a Consent Order, using a fixed-fee package.

Is Family Mediation Right for Everyone?

Mediation isn’t suitable for every situation. Safeguarding concerns, lack of disclosure, or unwillingness to engage can make it inappropriate.

But when both people are stuck and communication has broken down, family mediation can provide a structured way forward when nothing else has worked.

Where to Start

If communication has broken down and you’re unsure what to do next, starting with clear information can help.

This is where Mediate UK can offer support. A Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) gives you space to talk things through, understand whether mediation may be suitable, and consider practical next steps. Many people begin mediation simply because conversations have become difficult and they want a calmer way forward, especially where children are involved.

Mediate UK also offers a free 15-minute consultation, which can be a helpful first step if you’re unsure whether mediation is right for you.

Final Thought

We didn’t go into mediation expecting understanding. We just wanted the arguments to stop.

What we found was a way to talk again. Not perfectly. Not emotionally. But well enough to make decisions and move forward.

Sometimes, that’s enough to change everything.