A single mum’s experience of trying to keep communication calm for her child
When I first submitted my C100 form, I thought the paperwork would be the most stressful part. It turned out the hardest part was preparing to speak with CAFCASS.
At the time, communication with my child’s father had completely broken down. Every text message felt tense. Every conversation turned into an argument. I was worried about saying the wrong thing during the safeguarding call and whether anyone would really understand what life had been like for my child and me.
If you are waiting for a CAFCASS interview after filing a C100 form, you are not alone. Many single parents feel anxious before that first conversation.
The good news is that the safeguarding interview is usually not about catching parents out. It is there to help the court understand the family situation and whether there are any concerns affecting the child’s wellbeing.
For me, preparation made a real difference. Once I understood the process better, I felt calmer and more able to focus on what mattered most, my child.
If you are feeling overwhelmed beforehand, it can help to arrange a professional CAFCASS prep meeting so you know what to expect and how to approach the conversation calmly.
What Is CAFCASS?
CAFCASS stands for Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. It is an independent organisation that works with families involved in family court proceedings in England and Wales.
Their role is to focus on the child’s welfare during disputes about arrangements for children.
CAFCASS officers may:
Speak to both parents
Carry out safeguarding checks
Speak with children in some cases
Prepare reports for the court
Make recommendations about arrangements that support the child’s wellbeing
The officer is not there to “pick sides”. Their job is to understand family dynamics, identify any welfare concerns, and help the court make informed decisions.
What Usually Happens After Filing a C100 Form?
After submitting a C100 form, the court will usually issue the application and set a date for the first hearing.
Before that hearing, CAFCASS normally contacts both parents for a safeguarding call.
This happens within a few weeks of the application being issued.
During this stage, CAFCASS may:
Check for any police or social services involvement
Ask about the child’s routine and needs
Discuss communication between parents
Identify any immediate concerns about safety or wellbeing
Explore whether agreements could still be reached outside court
If you are unsure about the wider process, this guide on what happens after you submit a C100 form can help explain the next steps.
Why the CAFCASS Interview Matters
At first, I assumed the call would just be a quick formality. It was more important than I realised.
The safeguarding interview helps shape the information the court sees early in the case. The CAFCASS officer may prepare a short safeguarding letter before the first hearing.
That document can influence:
What issues the court focuses on
Whether further reports are needed
Whether parents are encouraged to try mediation or agreement discussions
The overall direction of the case
This does not mean one phone call decides everything. But it does mean it is worth preparing properly.
How I Prepared for the CAFCASS Safeguarding Call
I focused on my child - not the conflict
This was harder than I expected.
I had frustrations about communication and the breakdown of the relationship. But I realised CAFCASS was mainly interested in how things were affecting my child.
Instead of saying:
“He never listens to me.”
It helped to say:
“My child becomes unsettled when plans change suddenly.”
That small change helped me explain concerns more clearly.
I wrote down key points beforehand
Nerves can make it difficult to remember important details.
Before the call, I made notes about:
My child’s school routine
Medical needs
Daily care arrangements
Communication difficulties
Any concerns affecting my child
Keeping notes nearby helped me stay calm and organised.
I avoided emotional language
At times, I wanted to explain every disagreement we had ever had.
But I found that speaking calmly worked better.
CAFCASS officers are usually looking for practical information rather than blame. Even where concerns are serious, it helps to explain them clearly and factually.
Common Questions CAFCASS May Ask
Every case is different, but these are some questions parents are commonly asked during safeguarding calls.
What arrangements are currently in place for the child?
CAFCASS may ask:
Where the child lives
How they spend time with each parent
How handovers work
Whether routines are stable
Are there any welfare or safeguarding concerns?
This could include questions about:
Domestic abuse allegations
Substance misuse
Mental health concerns
Police involvement
Conflict witnessed by the child
If concerns exist, it usually helps to explain them calmly with examples where relevant.
How is communication between parents?
This was one of the hardest questions for me.
At the time, communication was very difficult. Conversations became arguments, and agreeing arrangements felt stressful.
CAFCASS seemed less interested in blame and more interested in whether communication could improve for the child’s benefit.
That changed how I approached things afterwards.
What does the child want or need?
Depending on the child’s age, CAFCASS may ask whether they have expressed any wishes or concerns.
It helps to avoid putting pressure on children or presenting them as choosing between parents.
The focus should stay on helping the child feel secure and supported.
How to Raise Concerns About the Other Parent
This part can feel uncomfortable.
Many single parents worry they will sound critical or that genuine concerns will not be taken seriously.
I found it helpful to:
Stick to facts
Avoid insults or labels
Explain how the issue affects the child
Stay focused on solutions where possible
For example:
“My child has missed school several times after late-night handovers.”
This is usually more effective than broad accusations.
Child-Focused Communication Makes a Difference
One thing I gradually learned was that the court process becomes harder when communication is driven by anger alone.
That does not mean pretending everything is fine.
It means trying to keep conversations centred on:
The child’s routine
Emotional wellbeing
Stability
Schooling
Health
Positive coparenting where possible
Even small improvements in communication can help reduce stress for everyone involved.
Preparing Emotionally Before the Interview
The waiting period before speaking to CAFCASS can feel tense.
What helped me most was:
Getting enough rest beforehand
Reading through my notes
Taking time before answering questions
Avoiding arguments immediately before the call
Remembering the conversation was about my child’s needs
You do not need perfect answers.
You just need to speak honestly and calmly.
Where to Start
If you are preparing for a CAFCASS safeguarding call after filing a C100 Form, try not to panic.
Most parents feel anxious before the interview. Preparation, clear communication, and a child-focused approach can make the process feel more manageable.
If you are still completing paperwork or need support understanding the process, these court form completion services may help you feel more organised before the next stage.
You can also read more about completing a C100 form if you are still early in the process.
Final Thought
Family court proceedings can place pressure on communication, especially after separation or divorce. But the CAFCASS interview is not about proving who is the better parent. It is about helping the court understand what arrangements may support the child best.
Staying calm, preparing properly, and focusing on your child’s wellbeing can help the conversation feel more productive.
If communication has become difficult, professional support or mediation guidance may also help create more constructive discussions moving forward.
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